We've all had a mentor give us customer service advice.

Some advice has withstood the test of time. My first boss stressed the importance of greeting every customer. A warm, friendly greeting sets the tone for a positive interaction.

That advice still rings true today.

Other advice hasn't aged so well. Like the old idea that companies should respond to customer emails within one business day. Today, the standard is one hour.

Concepts go out of style, customer preferences change, or we discover a better answer. Yet some leaders still cling to the same worn out, pithy platitudes.

Here are three pieces of advice that we need to update.

The customer is always right

Employees bristle at this advice. We all know the customer is not always right. Even worse, it implies a sort of subservient relationship to the customer.

It's right up there with "the customer is king." Ugh.

I once explored the origins of this quote. (You can read about it here.) While there's no clear consensus on where it originally came from, there were several possible sources. Each version was slightly different than today's version.

One thing they all had in common was the sentiment that even when a customer is wrong, you don't argue with them. What you should try to do instead is help the customer get what they want.

"Don't argue with customers, just help them be right" is better version of that worn-out saying.

Don’t take it personally

Plenty of well-meaning managers say this to employees after they encounter an upset customer. "Don't take it personally" is meant to encourage employees to just brush it off, plaster on a big smile, and be ready to take more abuse from the next person.

That doesn't really work for human beings.

Taking it personally is our instinctive reaction to an angry person. We go into fight or flight mode, where our primitive brain tries to decide whether to fight the danger or run from it.

Telling someone to "not take it personally" is like telling someone not to sneeze when their nose itches or not to laugh when they hear something funny. Good luck.

A more modern twist is "be aware of when you take it personally."

The instinct will happen. What we do next is the real trick. It takes some practice, but skillful customer service employees recognize the instinct as it happens and use the tiniest of pauses to gather themselves and make a better decision.

You can see an example in this short video.

Treat others the way you want to be treated

Known as the "Golden Rule," it's a reminder to treat people with the respect and kindness that you would want people to share with you.

Unfortunately, there's one big flaw: we all want different treatment.

Let's say two customers walk into a store. One customer wants to browse on their own, and generally be left alone unless they have questions or need assistance. Another customer prefers to have a chatty salesperson guide them through the store.

Following the golden rule, a salesperson would treat each customer exactly the same way, based on how the salesperson would wish to be treated if they were a customer themselves.

A more modern version is known as the Platinum Rule: treat customers the way they want to be treated.

Using this rule, the salesperson would greet both customers and then serve each one according to their preferences.

Conclusion

This is just the tip of the iceberg. There are likely many more tips and platitudes that need an update.

Customer service is an ever-evolving profession. While some things will always ring true, new discoveries are being made all the time that deepen our understanding of how to best service customers.